Knowing too much about things like Jane Fonda

Nature of the job….

I now know every movie that has filmed scenes in Connecticut. Since I’m full of so much knowledge and I spent 9 hours putting this together, I’ll share my masterpiece: Movies filmed in Connecticut

Also, my first brush with fame happened thanks to movies in CT.

Fame?

Hey Heigl

I also know too much about Jane Fonda’s life, so you might want to educate yourself on that too.

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Stomp the divots!

Since I wasn’t able to go to Prince Harry’s polo match in Greenwich, I decided to slum it and go to a non-royal one.

Since I’m already très high-class, I didn’t have to do much in preparation besides go on a late night shopping spree for fancy food. I already have a sun hat and appropriate polo dressby Richard Gere’s standards.

See? Uncanny

See? Uncanny

Although, I think I was excluded from the VIP tent because I was channeling Julia Roberts a la prostitute. It’s fine, I never want to sit with that lunatic George Costanza anyway.

Does not look fun

Does not look fun

Fashion aside, one of the highlights of the day was getting lost in a really bad part of Greenwich, CT – and by “really bad,” I mean dripping in diamonds. We ended up driving through some horse farm thinking it was the polo field, and discovered wonderland. The 30-foot garden gnome was cool, but the 43-foot dog made out of flowers was fate.

puppy-4At first it just looked like a big mountain of flowers and then as we drove around it, it took shape. The shape of a dog. This in itself is weird, but not that weird. What is that weird is that the the next night I was sitting home flipping through an old issue of New York Magazine, and what do I see? The flower dog! I don’t know what it means, but it means something.

In a bizarre twist of fate...

In a bizarre twist of fate…

Apparently it’s called “Puppy” and was named “artwork of the decade.” I feel so cultured now.

"Puppy" is well-traveled

“Puppy” is well-traveled

“Today it sits on his 53-acre estate in Greenwich, Connecticut where it costs a reported $75,000 a year to maintain. Obviously the flowers die with the Connecticut frosts, which is a shame, but there is the whole rebirth in the spring thing. Each spring ten men work for twelve days replanting the tens of thousands of annual flowers that form Puppy.” – Rando dog site

Gloomy day in the English country-side

Gloomy day in the English country-side

The actual “sport of kings” is really pretty boring – as I assume most kingly things are – except when the horses escape from their 1-inch-high barrier and charge into the crowd. Note to the women who wheeled their grandmother onto the field and almost got trampled: leave grams at home.

Then they played some Bruno Mars to get us amped up to stomp the divots!

PARTY

PARTY

All in all it was fun – we got drunk off champagne, ate figs, kicked some grass, tried to spot Gatsby (what Gatsby?)

There he is

There he is

And got our photo in the paper (thanks to moi).

- Greenwichtime.com

– Greenwichtime.com

 

Us Weekly gives us a shout-out

One of my little (medium-sized) local newspapers got a mention in Us Weekly yesterday, how fab!

Def. not thirsty.... -CT Post

Def. not thirsty….
-CT Post

Apparently CT people are just crazy about the Hoff. Crazy enough to put a Cumberland Farms employee in critical condition. I have never actually been to a Cumberland Farms, so I can proudly say this did not happen in or around my hometown. It happened in Shelton…who even lives there?

“Life-sized cutouts of David Hasselhoff have been getting stolen from Cumberland Farms convenience stores, with the latest incident happening in Shelton, Connecticut. On Tuesday, Aug. 20, two life-sized cutouts of the former Baywatch star were stolen at the convenience store — and a 36-year-old employee was injured in the resulting melee.” – Us Weekly

Anyway, I guess Us Weekly found it ammusing and grabbed the story from the CT Post. Thanks for the page views, guys!

CT for the win

Confession: I did not watch the Miss USA pageant. But I was happy to hear that my great home state of Connecticut is finally seeing its day in the sun thanks to Erin Brady.

628x471I mean it’s somewhat false advertising because people in CT aren’t generally that tan, but congrats anyway.

Of course the thing everyone is talking about is Miss Utah’s idiotic answer:

Q: “A recent report shows that in 40 percent of American families with children, women are the primary earners, yet they continue to earn less than men. What does this say about society?”

A: “I think we can relate this back to education, and how we are … continuing to try to strive to [epic pause] figure out how to create jobs right now. That is the biggest problem. And I think, especially the men are … um … seen as the leaders of this, and so we need to try to figure out how to create educate better so we can solve this problem. Thank you.”

Nailed it.

Nailed it.

I say give her a break: First of all how should she know? She’s from Utah – the women there don’t work; they’re all sister wives. Second of all, she may have been distracted by the fact that NeNe Leakes was asking her the question. And she still wasn’t as bad as Miss Teen South Carolina in 2007:

miss-south-carolina-2007-teen-pageant

Fact. People don’t have maps.

Prince Harry in Greenwich

Of all days to not go into Connecticut for work, I chose today – the day I could have met Prince Harry and married him and become a princess! I know he’s not actually welcome to the throne because he’s too fun, but that’s even better. Kate can tour the world in sensible wrap dresses while I could be partying in Vegas with Harry.

It’s not like I haven’t known he was going to be I Greenwich for months….I make poor choices…

Prince Harry arriving in Greenwich, CT.  Photo: Hearst Connecticut

Prince Harry arriving in Greenwich, CT.
Photo: Hearst Connecticut

Photo: Hearst Connecticut

Photo: Hearst Connecticut

More photos HERE

RAMONA

You don’t want my pinot grigio?!

Last night all my housewife dreams came true and Ramona Singer hosted a free wine tasting down the street from my office. Obviously I recruited the only other two ladies in my office and we sped over to try her famous pinot grigio and surprisingly refreshing new red wine. Now I know how she chugs it all day long – it goes down like water. Anyway, I mostly just wanted to hear speak in person. I was somewhat disappointed by how pleasant she was (and very tiny in person) – I was hoping for some Ramona moments, but she is all business after all. Luckily she brought her crazy eyes with her, though.

Check out some photos of my new BFF Ramona and me:

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See more pictures HERE

Unrelated: In sad fat people news, RIP Twinkies