Knowing too much about things like Jane Fonda

Nature of the job….

I now know every movie that has filmed scenes in Connecticut. Since I’m full of so much knowledge and I spent 9 hours putting this together, I’ll share my masterpiece: Movies filmed in Connecticut

Also, my first brush with fame happened thanks to movies in CT.

Hey Heigl

I also know too much about Jane Fonda’s life, so you might want to educate yourself on that too.

So New England

Happy Fall!

Stomp the divots!

Since I wasn’t able to go to Prince Harry’s polo match in Greenwich, I decided to slum it and go to a non-royal one.

Since I’m already très high-class, I didn’t have to do much in preparation besides go on a late night shopping spree for fancy food. I already have a sun hat and appropriate polo dressby Richard Gere’s standards.

See? Uncanny

Although, I think I was excluded from the VIP tent because I was channeling Julia Roberts a la prostitute. It’s fine, I never want to sit with that lunatic George Costanza anyway.

Does not look fun

Fashion aside, one of the highlights of the day was getting lost in a really bad part of Greenwich, CT – and by “really bad,” I mean dripping in diamonds. We ended up driving through some horse farm thinking it was the polo field, and discovered wonderland. The 30-foot garden gnome was cool, but the 43-foot dog made out of flowers was fate.

At first it just looked like a big mountain of flowers and then as we drove around it, it took shape. The shape of a dog. This in itself is weird, but not that weird. What is that weird is that the the next night I was sitting home flipping through an old issue of New York Magazine, and what do I see? The flower dog! I don’t know what it means, but it means something.

In a bizarre twist of fate…

Apparently it’s called “Puppy” and was named “artwork of the decade.” I feel so cultured now.

“Puppy” is well-traveled

“Today it sits on his 53-acre estate in Greenwich, Connecticut where it costs a reported $75,000 a year to maintain. Obviously the flowers die with the Connecticut frosts, which is a shame, but there is the whole rebirth in the spring thing. Each spring ten men work for twelve days replanting the tens of thousands of annual flowers that form Puppy.” – Rando dog site

Gloomy day in the English country-side

The actual “sport of kings” is really pretty boring – as I assume most kingly things are – except when the horses escape from their 1-inch-high barrier and charge into the crowd. Note to the women who wheeled their grandmother onto the field and almost got trampled: leave grams at home.

Then they played some Bruno Mars to get us amped up to stomp the divots!

PARTY

All in all it was fun – we got drunk off champagne, ate figs, kicked some grass, tried to spot Gatsby (what Gatsby?)

There he is

And got our photo in the paper (thanks to moi).

– Greenwichtime.com

 

Us Weekly gives us a shout-out

One of my little (medium-sized) local newspapers got a mention in Us Weekly yesterday, how fab!

Def. not thirsty….
-CT Post

Apparently CT people are just crazy about the Hoff. Crazy enough to put a Cumberland Farms employee in critical condition. I have never actually been to a Cumberland Farms, so I can proudly say this did not happen in or around my hometown. It happened in Shelton…who even lives there?

“Life-sized cutouts of David Hasselhoff have been getting stolen from Cumberland Farms convenience stores, with the latest incident happening in Shelton, Connecticut. On Tuesday, Aug. 20, two life-sized cutouts of the former Baywatch star were stolen at the convenience store — and a 36-year-old employee was injured in the resulting melee.” – Us Weekly

Anyway, I guess Us Weekly found it ammusing and grabbed the story from the CT Post. Thanks for the page views, guys!

CT for the win

Confession: I did not watch the Miss USA pageant. But I was happy to hear that my great home state of Connecticut is finally seeing its day in the sun thanks to Erin Brady.

I mean it’s somewhat false advertising because people in CT aren’t generally that tan, but congrats anyway.

Of course the thing everyone is talking about is Miss Utah’s idiotic answer:

Q: “A recent report shows that in 40 percent of American families with children, women are the primary earners, yet they continue to earn less than men. What does this say about society?”

A: “I think we can relate this back to education, and how we are … continuing to try to strive to [epic pause] figure out how to create jobs right now. That is the biggest problem. And I think, especially the men are … um … seen as the leaders of this, and so we need to try to figure out how to create educate better so we can solve this problem. Thank you.”

Nailed it.

I say give her a break: First of all how should she know? She’s from Utah – the women there don’t work; they’re all sister wives. Second of all, she may have been distracted by the fact that NeNe Leakes was asking her the question. And she still wasn’t as bad as Miss Teen South Carolina in 2007:

Fact. People don’t have maps.

Prince Harry in Greenwich

Of all days to not go into Connecticut for work, I chose today – the day I could have met Prince Harry and married him and become a princess! I know he’s not actually welcome to the throne because he’s too fun, but that’s even better. Kate can tour the world in sensible wrap dresses while I could be partying in Vegas with Harry.

It’s not like I haven’t known he was going to be I Greenwich for months….I make poor choices…

Prince Harry arriving in Greenwich, CT.
Photo: Hearst Connecticut

Photo: Hearst Connecticut

More photos HERE

RAMONA

You don’t want my pinot grigio?!

Last night all my housewife dreams came true and Ramona Singer hosted a free wine tasting down the street from my office. Obviously I recruited the only other two ladies in my office and we sped over to try her famous pinot grigio and surprisingly refreshing new red wine. Now I know how she chugs it all day long – it goes down like water. Anyway, I mostly just wanted to hear speak in person. I was somewhat disappointed by how pleasant she was (and very tiny in person) – I was hoping for some Ramona moments, but she is all business after all. Luckily she brought her crazy eyes with her, though.

Check out some photos of my new BFF Ramona and me:

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See more pictures HERE

Unrelated: In sad fat people news, RIP Twinkies

Long time no see…

I’ve been neglecting Mid-day Marg lately… but in my defense, I have nothing to talk about. I still have nothing to talk about, but I’d like to share this video of Christopher Walken in Westport, CT because it’s a lot funnier than anything I have to say:

Also, we got rid of the turtle last week. Check out the new office pet:

How many Coney Island tickets does this guy cost?

Bravo in my hood

A while back I wrote a post about a release that had come out saying a well-known Greenwich, CT “socialite” was going to make an appearance on a Bravo reality show. Well, last night was the big night that Tina Pray made her debut on Bravo’s “Miss Advised.”

Tina vs. Amy

The show comes on right after RHONYC, so naturally, I’ve gotten kind of hooked. It follows three loons as they have really awkward encounters with men.

In this episode, Amy, a matchmaker in NYC, goes to a friend’s party in Greenwich where she gets into a heated argument with Miss Tina Pray over the term “masculine energy” and a drink being spilled on an Armani sweater. Both women are extremely stuck up and annoying – Amy is the most uptight person I have ever seen on TV, and plus she “tuks like thess…” – but I have a prejudice against Tina due in part to comments left on my previous post:

“Tina Pray has a reputation for getting drunk and keying cars when she has had a few..her house was recently listed for sale, ostensibly because she is in debt to her jeweler, saks fifth avenue and multiple plastic surgeons who could do little for her. She looks like a car dealer’s daughter, what with those broad shoulders and thick waistline. Wealthy? Hardly.Pathetic? Definitely!” – Concerned in Greenwich

Those are fighting words. Could “Concerned in Greenwich” be Amy? Is that you, Amy? Are you reading this? I could use some love advice; should I or should I not hire a stylist to pick out the jeans and t-shirt I’m going to wear to a diner so I can get dumped? (Harsh…sorry).

Sorry I’m not sorry that Tina Pray has a thick waistline.

Needless to say Tina Pray’s 15 minutes were less than thrilling, and she does look like a man. She should just own it.

The other two women on the show are also pretty annoying. Julia is a dating columnist who used to date John McCain’s son, but now she just screams and wears tiaras. I want to like Julia, and I kind of do because she’s quirky and free-spirited and naive. But I know if I ever had to spend a prolonged period of time with her face-to-face I would be so tempted to gag her with her string of pearls. Stop screaming “PROM!” She also causes me way too much second-hand embarrassment. Stop begging guys to kiss you, and don’t drop to the floor and hyperventilate because a guy you went to “prom” with once shows up at your boring dinner party after you, again, begged him to come.

Then there’s Emily the radio sex show host. She has a weird lifestyle, but she says she’s okay with it, and she seems relatively sane. I just don’t really see why she’s even on the show. When all three women were guests on “Watch What Happens Live,” last night, at least Amy and Princess Julia admitted that they saw their flaws and have changed, but Emily thinks she’s great the way she is. Props to her, but that makes for pretty boring TV. Also, she needs to eat a sandwich.

Beauty and the Beast, Cannibals and McNuggets

Tomorrow is finally Friday and I only have a half day of work because I’m off to New Hampshire to forgo 50 degrees of sunny weather at home and instead head to the snow and the cold – my favorite. But I’ll do anything for a massive party so I’m going. Anyway, in honor of this being the longest week of all time, I’d like to share some highlights.

Beauty and the Beast 3D

I still live for Disney movies so I don’t care if anyone thinks it’s dumb to pay $15 to go see a movie you’ve had on VHS for 14 years, I’m still going to go. I went to see The Lion King this summer and last night I saw Beauty and the Beast. It’s not the 3D that impresses me because I actually think 3D sucks – it hurts my eyes. But no matter how old I get, Disney classics still remain some of the best movies out there.

Beauty and the Beast, for instance, obviously teaches kids that beauty is on the inside, which is a nice lesson, but it’s also a prime example of why Disney princesses are the best. They are all strong-willed and independent (except maybe Snow White who is stupid and lives with squirrels) but they are still classic romantic heroins. I hate all these new Pixar girls always belching and being gross. Also, I never realized how funny some of the songs are. “New and a bit alarming” – you should be alarmed, Belle. You are falling in love with a nasty animal. Also, Miss Celine is on the soundtrack.

But I still cannot wait for Little Mermaid to be re-released. That movie was my biggest childhood joy and seeing it in theaters again may just be the highlight of my adult life.

Cannibal in CT

- Dude, eat some salad. (Photo: Contributed Photo\Bay County She, Contributed Photo / Connecticut Post Contributed)

I was trying to enjoy a chocolate croissant yesterday when I got the news that a local man had been arrested for killing and eating a homeless guy. He hacked poor Tun Tun up and then ate his eyes and part of his brain after telling his cousin he had a “lust for blood.”

“‘He said he had gotten a rare steak at a restaurant in Florida and when he had tasted the blood it had given him a sexual sensation,’ recalled Nicole Rabb, who helped police get a confession from Smith to the crime.” – CT Post

If this isn’t the most disgusting thing you have heard in a while, then I’d rather not know you. I still ate my croissant, though – I was in New Canaan so it cost me $5 and also it was delicious.

McNuggets

- Girl, eat some salad. (Daily Mail) -

To my surprise and dismay, it turns out idiots who eat nothing but chicken McNuggets for 15 years straight are not healthy. Has anyone reported this girl’s parents for child neglect and trashbag-ness? Who lets their kid survive on something that only in recent years has boasted being “all white meat,” and probably never actually claimed to be “all chicken meat”?

Hooked on chicken nuggets: Girl, 17, who has eaten nothing else since age TWO rushed to hospital after collapsing – Daily Mail