Lady movie time

I had an ultimate lady weekend, which included bonding time over two great movies of yore.

The first one was Reese Witherspoon’s very first movie, The Man in the Moon. I bought this over the summer for $5 at Stop and Shop because I used to be obsessed with it when I was little. Why was I obsessed with it? Because I was a freak and I loved to watch only traumatizing dramas.

Worst sister ever.

Worst sister ever.

The movie follows 14-year-old Resse as she falls in love for the first time in 1950s Louisiana. But her older sister is a B and snatches up her man, which is bad enough, but after that the whole thing gets even more depressing. I won’t give it away, I guess.

What’s good about it: Reese looks exactly the same – and she has a partial nude scene, bold moves little Reese. Also, she’s a huge sassafrass.

The second movie we watched I stealthily recorded off Lifetime because my roommates hadn’t seen it, which is a sin – I’m talking about Ghost, obvi.

Ghost Kiss. Nice.

Ghost Kiss. Nice.

Whoopi Goldberg is reasons 1-9 out of the 10 reasons you should see this movie if you haven’t already (idiot). Reason number 10 is the face Patrick Swayze makes when he sees his own dead body after being murdered by that fool Willie Lopez.




‘This Means War’: Surprisingly good

I agreed to go see “This Means War” last night thinking it would just be another $11.00 wasted on a cheesy rom-com, but Reese Witherspoon is always cute and it’s Chelsea Handler’s movie debut so I went. To my surprise, not only did I pass for a student and get in for $7.50 (I plan on milking my child-like looks until I’m 30), but I actually really liked the movie. Of course there were some cheesy parts, but all-in-all it’s a pretty unique plot line as far as these types of movies go. You just have to indulge in the fantasy of it – obvi this would never happen in real life.

I’m not going to go into detail about the plot because anyone who watched TV has seen the preview and knows Reese falls in love with two men at the same time. Little does she know, they are partners in their job as secret agents and they are competing for her affections. OMG who will she choose?

Who would you pick?

Unfortunately I can’t say too much about the movie without giving the ending away. The fun of the movie is rooting for the guy you want her to choose and finding out who wins in the end. I will say that all 5 girls I was with were rooting against the guy I liked, but Reese chose my guy in the end because I have superior taste in men and a keen eye for cues in movies (I’m not bragging. It’s just true). But they do a good job of making both guys likable in their own way.

Hey Chels, it's Reese. I need a one-liner stat.

As usual, Reese Witherspoon’s character is also very likable. She’s cute and smart and she loves at her job in quality control for kitchen appliances (?). The only thing that bothered me was that her character’s name is Lauren and she definitely doesn’t look like a “Lauren.” Also, she’s way too co-dependent on her BFF Chelsea Handler. When she finally finds out her two guys are friends, instead of growing a pair and demanding an on-the-spot explanation, she runs to the bathroom to call her friend – grow up. But, of course, this is just a clever way to get as many of Chelsea’s hilarious scenes in the movie as possible.

Chelsea Handler basically plays herself except she has kids and her husband is fat and gross and they eat Cheetos during sex. Everyone knows in real life Chelsea’s husband would look like 50 Cent and they would eat Cheetos during sex. Anyway, she’s a welcome crude contrast to Reese’s sweet character – the staple outrageous best friend. So congrats to Chels on her first movie role (that I know of – I wouldn’t put it past her to have a porno out there somewhere).

The only other thing that bothered me was that one of the guys is named Franklin and he goes by FDR. Nobody in the movie seems to think this is weird, but it so is! Just because you had the appropriate initials, would you go by JFK? Or ODB? Weird choice on the writers’ parts.

Oh Chelsea, you may be funnier than she is, but Reese's hand towels are prettier than that dress.

In conclusion, go see “This Means War.” It’s the first quality romantic comedy I have seen in a while. Next, I’m too excited for Titanic 3D.

What’d I Miss?!

Sunday was my birthday so I did not watch the MTV Movie Awards because I was busy getting presents. But apparently I really missed out. Seems that my main man Robert Pattinson stole the show with some tequila-induced antics including an uncensored f-bomb and a man-on-man kiss (mid-day margarita/s, Rob)?

I can’t believe I missed that beauty getting so much air time! Hopefully I’ll catch a re-run.

– International Business Times (click for more pics) –

Here’s a re-cap written by someone lucky enough to have watched it:

“If you tuned into the MTV Movie Awards Sunday — sorry, I meant the Robert Pattinson show — you know everyone’s favorite teen vampire was on a tequila-fueled roll.

Pattinson locked lips with “Twilight” costar Taylor Lautner and said some generally odd things during his many trips across the stage, including an an uncensored f-bomb while introducing actress Reese Witherspoon.

“I didn’t cut you out, but I did (bleep) you,” he said about their roles in the film “Water for Elephants.”

(Hey, look, MTV — my censorship button is working just fine.)

Pattinson was cut from a scene in a Witherspoon movie years ago.

Wonder what’s going on with good-old Edward? Here’s what he said of his behavior while presenting Witherspoon with an MTV Generation award: “Tequila is like a Lay’s potato chip. It’s impossible to have just one.”

I guess that explains that.

Pattinson’s behavior got stranger as the show progressed. At first it was just an awkward interaction with actress Bryce Dallas Howard while accepting an award for best fight scene in the movie “Eclipse.”

“I ripped your head off,” Pattinson said. “And now you’re pregnant.”

In the audience, his “Twilight” costar Kristin Stewart covered her face in embarrassment.

After Pattinson and Stewart accepted an award for best kiss,” Pattinson declined an on-stage smooch.

“I just think there’s someone else in the audience who will appreciate it a little more,” he said.

Then Pattinson jogged out to the audience and planted a wet one on on-screen nemesis Taylor Lautner.

Let’s not blame Pattinson. Let’s blame MTV for letting him spend so much time on stage.” – Hot Topics

Water for Elephants

Since I am dating Robert Pattinson, I obviously had to go see Water for Elephants on its opening weekend, and it was not disappointing.

I read the book by Sara Gruen 2 or 3 years ago, so I didn’t really remember a lot of the details, but from what I can tell the movie does a good job of staying true to the book. There are a couple changes here and there – for example they leave out the nursing home scenes. But that’s necessary to keep the movie from lasting 4 hours.

The most striking part of the movie is how much you feel for the animals. There are a few really intense scenes of animal cruelty that really get to you. There’s also a lot of violence between the characters – it’s hard to watch but only because the movie does a good job of making you feel for the characters (animals included).

Here’s a plot summary: “When Jacob Jankowski, recently orphaned and suddenly adrift, jumps onto a passing train, he enters a world of freaks, drifters, and misfits, a second-rate circus struggling to survive during the Great Depression, making one-night stands in town after endless town. A veterinary student who almost earned his degree, Jacob is put in charge of caring for the circus menagerie. It is there that he meets Marlena, the beautiful young star of the equestrian act, who is married to August, the charismatic but twisted animal trainer. He also meets Rosie, an elephant who seems untrainable until he discovers a way to reach her. Water for Elephants is illuminated by a wonderful sense of time and place. It tells a story of a love between two people that overcomes incredible odds in a world in which even love is a luxury that few can afford.” –

- beauty -

Rob does a good job as Jacob, the main character. As much as I love him and his beautiful face, he can be a really awkward actor – and a really awkward Edward. But either he has been practicing, or this character came easily for him because he was really believable as the circus stow-away. And, most importantly, he looked super handsome in his bow ties and suspenders :)

Reese Witherspoon was also good as Marlena, the boss’ wife and the show’s star attraction. And the love story between her and Jacob was believable (obviously it’s not too hard to believe that anyone would fall in love with a mysterious vagabond who looks just like Robert Pattinson). Staying true to the book, the romance element of the movie was not overwhelming – it’s basically just understood that the two of them have a connection.

Now, for the two things that bothered me most about this movie:

Number one – some of the sets and the special effects were terrible! The circus scenes are good, but the characters venture out into town a couple times and into New York City once. The “towns” were the most obvious movie sets I have ever seen – it looked like Sesame Street or something. And when Marelana and Jacob exit a dark ally in New York City, they end up in front of a magical view of the Brooklyn Bridge….The worst part, though, might be the Empire State Building in the clouds behind the circus tents the next day….really?

The special effects are super realistic too….. The lions, tigers and other jungle animals don’t look animated at all…..

But don’t worry, Rosy the elephant and one of the main characters is looking good.

The next thing that was a little bothersome was August’s accent. What is that? August is the ring leader and Marlena’s husband played by Christoph Waltz. I’m not familiar with him, but he does a good job in this movie – his most famous role was in Inglorious Bastard’s. With August, he has to walk the fine line between crazy and cruel, and he does it really well. But anyway, he’s Austrian, but his accent in the movie is just bizarre. It’s part Austrian, part 1930s gangster, part New York Jew. That’s the best way I can describe it. Does he really talk like that?

Anyway, all in all a pretty good movie – I just wouldn’t expect any Oscar nominations for set design.