TIME announced their 100 Most Influential People list today, and they have some cool people on it like Jay-Z and Mindy Kaling. But I really can’t imagine that Mindy Kaling is one of the most influential people in the world. I mean, The Mindy Project is funny but come on. Also, Jennifer Lawrence has only been super popular for like 2 days. It looks to me like TIME is just trying to be trendy.
But who cares about who influences the world anyway. I’d like to share the top 10 women who helped shape ME.
10. Angelica from Rugrats:
Angelica taught me how to run the world
Bossing around babies like a boss
The price you pay for being awesome
And I think she is subconsciously the reason I love donuts a little too much.
9. Winnie from “The Wonder Years”
Winnie was so cool and pretty even though she was skinny-fat, and had awesome bangs.
She also had Kevin obsessed with her for like 20 years despite this look:
8. Amanda Bynes
This may be where some of my imperfections stem from…but back in her “All That” and “Amanda Show” days, she seemed like a worthy role model.
Whatever, She’s the Man was funny
7. Cher Horowitz
I went to Catholic school, so I didn’t know any Jews growing up – all I knew was that according to Clueless, they’re fabulous. Cher’s wise words are still useful to me in everyday life, like, “She’s a full-on Monet…. From far away, it’s OK, but up close, it’s a big old mess.” And “It does not say RSVP on the Statue of Liberty.”
Most importantly she showed me I can get out of gym class
6. Melissa Joan Hart
Cher was fab, but Clarissa explained it all. Not only was MJH cool and witty in “Clarissa Explains” it all, which had the best opening credits, but then she became a witch.
I obvi was jealous of Sabrina because she was magical and could have actual conversations with her cat. Also, her aunts were the best parents ever – I kind of had a weird girl crush on Zelda.
5. Spice Girls
I don’t know that I learned too many life lessons from the Spice girls, besides British is better and that I definitely want to zigazig-ah.
But they did teach me a lot about fashion.
Jewel was my downtime music. Every 10 year old needs some time to close the door throw on some Jewel and meditate for a while. There’s only so much Hanson music one can take after a long day of being humiliated in relay basketball at gym. Jewel expanded my vocabulary and showed me you can still be famous even if you’ve never had braces.
3. Britney Spears/Christina Aguilera
I lumped them together because they both taught me a similar lesson: If you want to be a pop star (which I do), get a flat stomach.
I already had the uniform though.
2. Gwen Stefani
Gwen was and still is the queen of all that is cool. She mastered angry girl music without being kind of scraggly and gross like Alanis.
1. All Disney Princesses
Above all, I strive to be classy and beautiful like a cartoon.