I’m too lazy and busy to actually write anything original, so look back on my old Halloween posts and get a costume idea now so you don’t have to settle for dressing up as Miley Cyrus at the VMAs with the rest of America.
I don’t get it. Should I be getting it?
I obviously like to keep up with Miley Cyrus’ latest video ventures, so I watched this Big Sean video starring half-naked Miley and some roses. I thought she might have a part in the song at some point, but clearly, it makes more sense to just have her move sexually in slow motion without actually singing. I mean, now that I actually say it, it kind of does make sense because her voice is not cute.
But still, why Miley? I’m so sick of her.
Moving on, Lady Gaga is back. Congratulations. Since her last album came out I decided she’s the worst, but I wanted to see what kind of weirdness she came up with. At first I thought the video for “Applause” was pretty tame for Lady Gaga.
She wears a hand bra, a really ugly Mad Hatter outfit…
…and then turns into a #pone. But it’s still not that disturbing.
But then….remember when she hatched out of an egg at the Grammy’s that one time? Well she does it again, but this time she looks like this:
You’re welcome for the nightmares.
I share my thoughts on Miley’s latest atrocity with Jimmy T: HERE
Maxim released their Hot 100 list, and within the top 10 alone there are 4 former Disney stars with Miley Cyrus at number 1. What’s going on and how old are the editors at Maxim? First of all, Hannah Montana is the hottest woman ever? I know she’s been working out, but still.
Second of all, am I just getting really old? Aside from the Disney starlets, which include Miley, Selena Gomez, Ashley Tisdale (woof), Vanessa Hudgens and Demi Lovato, there are a bunch of other teeny boppers in there too: Emma Watson, Leah Michele, Emma Roberts, Ashley Benson…
They may all be of legal age, but they all star in kids shows. This list creeps me out a little.
There are a couple old school shoutouts to Topanga and Jennifer Love Hewitt on the list (#tbt). And also some older ladies like Sofia Vergara and Cameron Diaz and Hoda Kotb (?). It’s a big day for Hoda; she also had a goat named after her.
Anyway, this list seems all over the place to me, but I’m not a dude so congrats to all the fine women and children who made the cut.
The big news this Sunday at the VMAs (which I couldn’t watch because of Irene and couldn’t attend because of Pitbull’s entourage’s empty promises) was that Beyonce is pregnant! Holy superstar baby on the way!
She’s not the only one though. Jennifer Garner is pregnant again, but no one really cares about that. What I find slightly disturbing is that Disney channel stars are going to be popping them out all over the place. Hilary Duff is having a little Lizzy McGuire, which makes me uneasy because she’s my age and she’s married and having babes. Hilary Duff is so ahead of me in life…
Brenda Song, from the Disney show The Suite Life of Zach and Cody, is also pregnant – with Miley Cyrus’ brother. First of all, I will be surprised if this baby doesn’t come out with Mickey Mouse ears. Second of all, Miley Cyrus’ brother looks nasty -what is this cute little Asian thinking. Third of all, Miley is going to be the worst/best aunt ever. I suggest miss Song limits Miley’s babysitting gigs unless she wants baby Cyrus to be a pole-dancing chain smoker by the time the kid’s 16.
Speaking of 16-year-olds, my little sister grew up watching that Zach and Cody show, but I guess it doesn’t hold that much of a special place in her heart. Her reaction to Brenda getting knocked up: “Good, maybe they’ll finally cancel that show now that their ‘high school students’ are getting pregnant.”