Jay-Z is so magical

Fact: Jay-Z can time travel. At least that’s what everyone on the internet has been saying since this photo was posted to Reddit:

Reddit

Reddit

Is that Jay in 1939? Could be. Could be an ancestor. Or maybe everyone is just racist….JK it really does look like him.

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What should I wear to Twilight?

Breaking Dawn opens this Friday and I have plans to go on Sunday afternoon because no matter how much a love and support my hubby, Rob, I’d rather just get the cheaper ticket. Anyway, I have a serious problem because I had an outfit all planned out to wear to the movie, but this chick stole my thunder! Who is Lauren Pope and what makes her think she can take my sideless dress idea? Now I’m going to have to just wear jeans or something.

- If you need to hold your crotch to keep your dress on... -

The Real Barney Stinson?

I was watching “How I met Your Mother” the other day and I didn’t think twice about Barney’s latest scam in the episode “The Stinson Missile Crisis.” In this episode, Barney has to do damage control by canceling all of his ongoing scams so Nora doesn’t dump him. One of these scams is an infomercial and flier in which he offers free breast reduction consultations to women. I always assumed Barney’s scams came from the writers’ weird imaginations, but maybe not. It seems that the Barney Stinson character is not so far-fetched.

This morning I woke up to this story:

“An 81-year-old Florida man, who police say posed as a door-to-door physician and duped at least two women into having their breasts examined, has struck a plea deal with prosecutors.” HuffPost

He got two women in one apartment complex to let him in, and he proceeded to “examine” their breasts and other areas. So, it’s definitely not funny that he sexually assaulted and molested two women. But is it bad that I still laughed when I read this – I mean, did the HIMYM writers know about this guy when they wrote the episode?

- VOM -

Also, just saying, if this random old dude knocked on my door and asked if he could feel me up, I’m pretty sure I would decline.

Watch the episode HERE

Don’t eat cantaloupes or piss off Starbuck’s employees!

First, I would like to warn everyone that one of my favorite fruits has been tainted! Colorado cantaloupes are killing people, and now I’m afraid of them. Luckily only people from weird states like Kansas, Missouri and Nebraska have died, so I think we might be safe over here.

“WASHINGTON — Health officials say as many as 16 people have died from possible listeria illnesses traced to Colorado cantaloupes, the deadliest food outbreak in more than a decade.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention said Tuesday that 72 illnesses, including 13 deaths, are linked to the tainted fruit. State and local officials say they are investigating three additional deaths that may be connected.” – HuffPost

Listeria in cantaloupe: What you need to know

Secondly, I would like to know why this is a national news story:

“A formerly loyal Starbucks customer found something unexpected on her cup of morning mud.

New York City native Vicki Reveron told WABC that the word “bitch” was scrawled across the cup she was served at the 8th Avenue and 35th Street Starbucks.

“It says b–ch, my name is not b–ch, it’s Vicki,” Reveron said.

As you can see from the image below, the cup clearly does not say “Vicki” (though maybe it says ‘Bith’?” – HuffPost

 

- HuffPost -

I mean if I caused a commotion every time I was called a bitch while getting my morning coffee, there would be no room in the papers to talk about cantaloupes! Just kidding, people love me. But seriously, grow up, Vicki, you probably were being a bitch and your barista was probably 17 and not asked to the prom.

 

New wives in New York

- Ladies, you've got to go (Getty) -

After the last season of Real Housewives of New York, and especially the reunion/2 hours of mindless bickering amongst middle-aged women, I am not too disappointed that the show is being re-vamped. I’m all for drama, but I can only watch so many hours worth of menopausal women (sorry Ramona you’re not pregnant) ripping each other’s heads off before the TV goes off. I think Andy just got super pissed off by that reunion show – he had to tell a group of grown women to STFU! It’s no wonder they’re getting fired.

Still, I am a little sad to see some of the ladies leave. Luckily Ramona and Sonja are here to stay (and LuAnn), but it’s see ya later to Jill, Alex, Kelly, and Cindy. First of all, no one cares about Cindy; she was there for one season and she sucked. But Jill is a classic RHONYC and Alex was starting to grow on me. I will be glad to be rid of the prescription-meds train wreck that is Kelly Killoren Bensimon, though.

Whoever the new women are, they’re going to have big shoes to fill (although not as big as they would be had LuAnn been axed), so cast wisely, Bravo.

- But You're Like Really Pretty -

Little cat had the little town blues

- Cat, The ultimate New Yorker Cat (Breakfast at Tiffany's) -

Further further proof that New York is the best city in the country: even cats know where it’s at. Check out this story about a little cat named Willow who traveled all the way from Colorado by foot just to be a part of it. Oh I just love kitties, they so get me.

NEW YORK — A calico cat named Willow, who disappeared from a home near the Rocky Mountains five years ago, was found Wednesday on a Manhattan street and will soon be returned to a family in which two of the three kids and one of the two dogs may remember her.

How she got to New York, more than 1,600 miles away, and the kind of life she lived in the city are mysteries.

But thanks to a microchip implanted when she was a kitten, Willow will be reunited in Colorado with her owners, who had long ago given up hope. –  Read the full story on HuffPost