Don’t eat cantaloupes or piss off Starbuck’s employees!

First, I would like to warn everyone that one of my favorite fruits has been tainted! Colorado cantaloupes are killing people, and now I’m afraid of them. Luckily only people from weird states like Kansas, Missouri and Nebraska have died, so I think we might be safe over here.

“WASHINGTON — Health officials say as many as 16 people have died from possible listeria illnesses traced to Colorado cantaloupes, the deadliest food outbreak in more than a decade.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention said Tuesday that 72 illnesses, including 13 deaths, are linked to the tainted fruit. State and local officials say they are investigating three additional deaths that may be connected.” – HuffPost

Listeria in cantaloupe: What you need to know

Secondly, I would like to know why this is a national news story:

“A formerly loyal Starbucks customer found something unexpected on her cup of morning mud.

New York City native Vicki Reveron told WABC that the word “bitch” was scrawled across the cup she was served at the 8th Avenue and 35th Street Starbucks.

“It says b–ch, my name is not b–ch, it’s Vicki,” Reveron said.

As you can see from the image below, the cup clearly does not say “Vicki” (though maybe it says ‘Bith’?” – HuffPost

 

- HuffPost -

I mean if I caused a commotion every time I was called a bitch while getting my morning coffee, there would be no room in the papers to talk about cantaloupes! Just kidding, people love me. But seriously, grow up, Vicki, you probably were being a bitch and your barista was probably 17 and not asked to the prom.

 

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