Whenever there’s talk of the Breaking Dawn movie lately it’s all about the infamous sex scene. I am just as excited for this movie as any other Twilight nerd, and I don’t care who knows it. However, I’m getting bothered by all the weirdos who are obsessed with the “sex thrusting scene” as Jimmy Kimmel put it.
I happen to know for a fact that Stephanie Meyer is a complete loser based on the fact that I read her books. Sure, I may have read them and indulged in the fantasy – but she wrote it, so she loses/wins because she’s a millionaire. Anyway, for three books, we suffered with Bella while she got rejected by her teenage/old man boyfriend. And then all the frustration culminates in a ridiculous sex scene complete with broken beds and a vampire pregnancy.
This is stupid for three reasons: a) 17-year-old boys don’t turn down sex even if they are vampires, b) broken furniture and bruises does not innocent romance make – you over-indulged, Steph, and c) everyone knows vampires and humans can’t make babies.
But all of this is fine. My beef is with the fact that all the movie people took this embarrassing grocery store-novel love scene and translated it onto film, giving the movie an R rating. Of course there was probably an uproar from studio executives who were foreseeing losing 97% of ticket-buyers to the “no one under 17 permitted” rule, so the sex scene was toned down and it’s now tween-friendly once more.
So where does one cross the line from R-rated sex to PG-13 sex? According to Kristin Stuart, it’s not in the “thrusting” but in the noise-making: quiet sex is appropriate sex. She also says that the scene is mostly close-ups (all her lip-biting practice will finally come in handy, I guess).
In preparation for all the close, quiet excitement here’s a countdown of the “steamiest” Twilight moments: Ted Casablanca’s The Awful Truth (E!)