Rihanna gets raunchy….again

Rihanna’s new video for “We Found Love” is out, and I didn’t think to watch it until I heard K Foxx talking about it on Hot 97 (yes, I’m hood). According to my girl, people are saying that the video might be alluding to Rihanna’s relationship with Chris Brown because it shows her and a guy with Sisqo hair arguing in a car.

- "We Found Love" -

Here’s what I think: I don’t know about the Chris Brown thing – it might be loosely based off of that, but I don’t really care. The video is just annoying because, yet again, Ri-Ri is trying to push the envelope and solidify her “good girl gone bad” image. The whole thing is supposed to mimic some sort of psychedelic trip, but it’s basically 5 minutes of her and her Chris Brown/Sisqo man doing drugs and having sex. She also wears some sweet leotards and denim skirts and spreads her legs for the camera.

Give it up, Rihanna, I’m getting a little annoyed at your raunchy behavior. I know you’ve said in the past that you are not trying to be a role model, and that’s fine, but do you have to work so hard to be the anti-role model. And really, you got kicked out of a strip club for thrusting your head in between the strippers’ legs? Get a grip, girl!

More importantly, the video-version of the song is a rip-off of Madonna’s “What it Feels Like for a Girl.”

See for yourself:

The album version is better – LISTEN

In coincidental related news, the betches gave Rihanna “betch of the week” today. I mean, she’s been annoying lately, but Rihanna is def. a true betch.

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That’s so ‘early millennium chic’

I know I talk about betcheslovethis.com a lot, but  they have become a pop-culture phenomenon – so much so that I am adopting their lingo. And lately I can’t stop seeing things that they would ingeniously refer to as “early millennium chic” – the first example being the girl at the bar last night wearing a jean skirt and backless sandal heels. Woof.

Anyway, according to AOL’s Stylelist, crop tops are all the rage again. Looks like all the top designers are feeling a little nostalgic – longing for the days when it was acceptable for white girls to wear corn rows. I wasn’t lucky enough to attend any fashion week shows, but I’m envisioning models strutting down the runway to an Aaliyah tune (RIP).

We all know fashion always recycles – this is nothing new. But I’m excited because this is the first time I am reliving an era in fashion. I guess this means I’m getting old. Gross.

- Gwyneth got excited about this at the Emmys -

So to honor the return of the early millennium chic trend, I would like to explore some of the other late ’90s-early 2000s fashion that I would hate/secretly love to be able to rock again.

Platform Flip-Flops: Who doesn’t love a Frankenstein shoe? I’m sad to say I worked the platform flip-flop all the way to probably 2006. I’m even more sad to say that I still see them around and sometimes my mom still buys them for me. Where do you even find these, mom? Kohl’s for sure.

Glitter Nail Polish: Not only did my nails look like disco balls all throughout middle school, but they were also always varying shades of some unnatural color like blue or green or worse – yellow. Sometimes I added decorative touches like flowers painted on with a toothpick. I know that some crazy colors are back in, but here’s the rule I go by: if the color of your nail polish resembles that of a fungal infection, steer clear.

- I know, girl. I still have my roll on glitter too. That stuff never runs out. -

Roll-On Glitter: Since putting glitter on your nails clearly doesn’t provide enough sparkle, the most stylish of us knew that you had to roll it all over your face and body too. At the height of the Bath and Body Works obsession (circa ’98-’99) the company hit the jack pot with roll-on body glitter. I have to admit I’m guilty of showing up to my 5th grade Catholic school classroom looking like I just did the walk of shame from a rave.

- Trendy gerbil? -

Butterfly Clips: It’s hard to let go of things you once loved no matter how hideous they are. Just ask my friend (I won’t mention names) who wore her hair in butterfly-clip-esque corn rows in her senior portrait. Unless you’re Mariah Carey, you’ve got to let it go. Let the butterfly trend spread its wings and fly.

- Wow, Tyra. So pretty -

Crimped Hair: If you’re looking for that fried, damaged look for your hair but constant blow drying and straightening are just too slow, get a crimper. It’s the easiest way to look like you just got electrocuted. Just make sure you leave two straight strands in the front – hot.

Betches got a new look

My internet world has been rocked: Betches Love This Site has dropped the “site” and gotten a makeover. It’s going to take some getting used to – I don’t know how I feel about the new design – but congrats to the betches for making moves. How betchy is starting a career out of talking about your betchiness? So betchy it’s disgusting (in a good way). Hope you ladies fulfill your dream of getting rich by not doing work. Now let’s get Mid-day Marg moving up in the world?

READ: Betches Love This

Go away, Irene!

The betches named Hurricane Irene “betch of the week.” Well I disagree – she’s not a betch, she’s just a raging bitch coming to ruin my Saturday night and flood my basement.

New England’s one redeeming quality besides fall foliage (which really isn’t all that exciting) is that we don’t have to deal with natural disasters. Now we have an earthquake and a hurricane in the same week? California and Puerto Rico can laugh at us all they want – yes maybe we caused a frenzy over a little shaking and now we’re panicking over hurricane residue heading our way, but how would you feel about a freak blizzard?

Well I’m just hoping that all the people who flocked to Walmart for emergency supplies are just idiots, and all we get is a little rain. Because I have never heard of being “rained in,” but it doesn’t sound like a great way to spend my weekend. I  just had the worst January in the history of my social life thanks to massive snow storms caused by the impending apocalypse, I don’t need a snow/rain day in August.

- Bottled water shelf at a local grocery store. OMG it's Y2K all over again (courtesy of a FB friend) -

So here’s my plea to Irene: I know how you feel. Sometimes you just get pissed off and want to wreak havoc, but as a fellow lady I hope you can understand that that you are ruining Sunday – the last weekend day of August! Summer is coming to a close and I have very limited tanning days, so please don’t take one away! Let temps in the upper 80s and sunshine be my reason for wearing a bikini this weekend, and not because you turned the place into a massive puddle of dirty water. K, thanks.

And all these “Come on Irene” tweets are getting old. Cute at first, but it’s not that great of a pun.

Hurricane Irene is an awful woman – ABC News

Hurricane Irene messes with my state – CT Post

“Friends with Benefits”: Save Your Money

After rave reviews from friends and critics, I went against my better judgment and decided see Friends with Benefits with Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake. When I first heard of the movie, I had the same reaction as most people: “didn’t they just make this movie?” I never saw No Strings Attached, so I can’t say for sure, but I’m pretty confident that the two movies have the same. exact. plot.

Anyway, because people were telling me it was funny and different from what I would expect, and because I’ve always liked Mila Kunis, I gave Friends with Benefits the benefit of the doubt. (I should have listened to the Betches. I almost always agree with them!)

Here’s the thing: if I had gone to see it simply because I was bored or whatever, I would have no complaints. It was exactly what I expected it to be – just a cutesy romantic comedy. It’s not the best one I’ve ever seen, but also not the worst. However, because I went into it with expectations of being pleasantly surprised by its hilarity and uniqueness I feel compelled to explain why I was not at all pleasantly surprised by either of those things.

First of all, it has the most predictable plot line of all time. Spoiler alert: being just friends with benefits doesn’t work out; they fall in love at the end (shocking). Second of all, the acting was, at best, sub-par.

When the movie started, I began to get annoyed with Mila. She comes into the movie as a quirky, cute-in-a-clumsy-way fast-talking New Yorker. She’s the typical “romcom” heroine – pretty girl with strange and endearing habits. I thought, “great she’s going to irritate me the whole movie and I’m not going to like her anymore.” As the movie went on, though, and we got to know her character, Jamie, I warmed up to her. She did a good job of showing the evolution of her character and letting the audience see how vulnerable Jamie really is. Her performance is believable and relatable: she’s totally confident and put-together until a man comes around and makes her revert to a swooning love-struck fairy tale character.

However, while Mila becomes increasingly more enjoyable to watch, Justin became increasingly more painful to watch. After a great performance in The Social Network, and a semi-funny role in Bad Teacher, I was beginning to like him as an actor. But he really blew it with this movie. Maybe he just couldn’t handle playing an average guy, but his character, Dylan, comes off as just totally annoying. Whereas Jamie evolves throughout the movie, Dylan stays basically the same. I think the idea was for him to seem like a really cool big-shot in the beginning and slowly become more vulnerable as we find things out like that he has issues with his family, and has a fear of heights and math. But he just seems kind of nerdy from the beginning, and all these little bits of information don’t come off as cute. I just didn’t really get his character.

So, now that I have ripped the movie apart, I will give it some credit. Especially since, like I said, it’s not so bad in comparison to other movies of it’s kind. There are a few good parts.

- Patricia Clarkson and Mila Kunis-

My favorite being any scene with Jamie’s mom played by Patricia Clarkson. A crazy hippy-nomad, she bursts in on Jamie and Dylan and immediately starts throwing out hilarious one-liners. “I’m hungry, where’s the gin?” I laughed straight through her entrance scene. Also funny is the fake romantic comedy that Jamie and Dylan watch and compare their experiences to. The fake movie stars Jason Segel and Rashida Jones so naturally, anything Jason Segel touches is funny.

Richard Jenkins plays Dylan’s father, who is in the beginning stages of Alzheimer. More than the love story, the story of Dylan and his sister’s struggle to take care of a father who is well aware that he is slipping away is definitely touching.

All in all, sorry to those who really loved the movie, but my advice is: don’t pay $11.00 to see a movie with no plot twist. Wait a few months and rent it on Netflix when you’re bored at home and there’s nothing on Bravo.

Are You a Betch? ‘Cause I Am.

A new amazing site has been brought to my attention: Betches Love This Site.

I would say 95% of the entries on this site describe me to a T. It’s kind of sick actually, but at least I am not alone in my Betch-dom.

Some examples that I relate to (click the link for the full “article”):

– “Betches don’t love bros so much because of their amazing looks and generous, caring ways. We love bros because they don’t automatically take all of our shit and don’t always respond to our clever #32 winning tactics. Offer me a ride home after I stay the night at your place? You’re done. Fucking desperate loser. Forget to wish me a happy birthday via both BBM and Facebook? +5 right there….. Here are some signs you’ve encountered a nice guy: 1. He refuses to play mind games” – Hating Nice Guys

– “Then you see him standing across the street: the self-proclaimed ‘bro.’…. He motions for you to come over. As a true betch you’re not going for that shit, and you scream that if he wants to talk to you he can cross the fucking street. He obviously does.” – Not Having Sex With Bros (Sometimes)

– “There’s only one reason we constantly check Facebook. Photos. Facebook albums are what makes Sunday a half-acceptable day, and you know you’re going to harass your friend with the camera to put that shit up ASAP.” – The Group Photog

– “Betches love to abbreviate anything. We’re very busy people and it saves us a lot of time…Every time you say “definitely” instead of “def,” or “totes,” you’re wasting half a second of your precious life. The standard abbreviations that everyone uses are pretty straight forward, but every once in a while you may come across a betch who speaks in her own special dialect. Her entire life sounds like one huge instant message from 2001. TTYL! BRB! OMG! ” – Abbrevs

– “I thought he was hooking up with that girl… fuck! What’s her name? She kind of looks like a smurf… whatever, smurf girl?” – Nicknames

– “No matter where you’re tailgating, pre-tailgate rituals are basically universal. The bitch-betch must be the one to get the bagels and cream cheese, Starbucks, and chasers. I know what you’re thinking, betches don’t eat bagels! But eating a bagel, scooped out of course, is necessary or you will make a fool of yourself. Eat quickly, or share half your bagel with the garbage, and get to ripping shots as soon as possible.” – Tailgating

– “Any betch can tell you that prime tanning hours are between 10am and 2pm. On a prime tanning day, waking up after 11:30 is a crime. Unless you want to be the palest betch at formal you better get your ass up and to the pool chairs that have the most sun exposure.” – Tanning

– “While the rest of the world gets a day, a betch’s birthday can last almost an entire week. A birthday pregame might be enough for some, but betches prefer to have a birthday brunch, birthday dinner, birthday party, sometimes even a birthday vacation.” – Birthdays

– “While betches will always be down to drink pretty much anything that will get us inebriated, there is one category of alcohol that will always hold a special place in our hearts. Wine, duh.” – Wine

Disclaimer: obvi. this is exaggerated and sarcastic, so while it’s mostly true I do pride myself on being somewhat more normal than the betches described on the site. And I hope to grow out of my bro stage…what is wrong with me?!

Trained to be betches since birth: here are some influential betches from our childhood

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