Are You a Betch? ‘Cause I Am.

A new amazing site has been brought to my attention: Betches Love This Site.

I would say 95% of the entries on this site describe me to a T. It’s kind of sick actually, but at least I am not alone in my Betch-dom.

Some examples that I relate to (click the link for the full “article”):

– “Betches don’t love bros so much because of their amazing looks and generous, caring ways. We love bros because they don’t automatically take all of our shit and don’t always respond to our clever #32 winning tactics. Offer me a ride home after I stay the night at your place? You’re done. Fucking desperate loser. Forget to wish me a happy birthday via both BBM and Facebook? +5 right there….. Here are some signs you’ve encountered a nice guy: 1. He refuses to play mind games” – Hating Nice Guys

– “Then you see him standing across the street: the self-proclaimed ‘bro.’…. He motions for you to come over. As a true betch you’re not going for that shit, and you scream that if he wants to talk to you he can cross the fucking street. He obviously does.” – Not Having Sex With Bros (Sometimes)

– “There’s only one reason we constantly check Facebook. Photos. Facebook albums are what makes Sunday a half-acceptable day, and you know you’re going to harass your friend with the camera to put that shit up ASAP.” – The Group Photog

– “Betches love to abbreviate anything. We’re very busy people and it saves us a lot of time…Every time you say “definitely” instead of “def,” or “totes,” you’re wasting half a second of your precious life. The standard abbreviations that everyone uses are pretty straight forward, but every once in a while you may come across a betch who speaks in her own special dialect. Her entire life sounds like one huge instant message from 2001. TTYL! BRB! OMG! ” – Abbrevs

– “I thought he was hooking up with that girl… fuck! What’s her name? She kind of looks like a smurf… whatever, smurf girl?” – Nicknames

– “No matter where you’re tailgating, pre-tailgate rituals are basically universal. The bitch-betch must be the one to get the bagels and cream cheese, Starbucks, and chasers. I know what you’re thinking, betches don’t eat bagels! But eating a bagel, scooped out of course, is necessary or you will make a fool of yourself. Eat quickly, or share half your bagel with the garbage, and get to ripping shots as soon as possible.” – Tailgating

– “Any betch can tell you that prime tanning hours are between 10am and 2pm. On a prime tanning day, waking up after 11:30 is a crime. Unless you want to be the palest betch at formal you better get your ass up and to the pool chairs that have the most sun exposure.” – Tanning

– “While the rest of the world gets a day, a betch’s birthday can last almost an entire week. A birthday pregame might be enough for some, but betches prefer to have a birthday brunch, birthday dinner, birthday party, sometimes even a birthday vacation.” – Birthdays

– “While betches will always be down to drink pretty much anything that will get us inebriated, there is one category of alcohol that will always hold a special place in our hearts. Wine, duh.” – Wine

Disclaimer: obvi. this is exaggerated and sarcastic, so while it’s mostly true I do pride myself on being somewhat more normal than the betches described on the site. And I hope to grow out of my bro stage…what is wrong with me?!

Trained to be betches since birth: here are some influential betches from our childhood

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