Polar vortex?

So the North Pole and Canadians are supposed to keep all the cold air (so polite), but this year they had enough and that’s why it’s so cold….or something like that. I read like one sentence on this.

Def. Rob Ford's fault

Def. Rob Ford’s fault

Anyway all I know is I now have a new weather character to hate: The Polar Vortex. Sounds mean.

The Vortex joins friends like Irene:

Hurricane-irene-bo_1981702i

Sandy:

grease-sandy-Favim.com-238046Nemo:

nemo-300x169And that nameless Halloween blizzard:

TrickOrTreat-5Hercules was a weak snowstorm so he didn’t make this list

Ryan-Gosling-Young-HerculesWelcome, Polar Vortex

tumblr_lwmohbi15h1qaurswo1_500But it’s no excuse to look ragged: Your Polar Vortex fashion guide

 

Advertisements

Ode to Sandy on her birthday

hurricane-sandy12There’s this girl I hate. She ruined my life (and Halloween) exactly one year ago today. This is her story.

First we got the news that she was coming

3qysp9And since I AM THE NEWS, I was summoned to work 18-hour days while everyone got a week’s vacation…

Stolen from Alyssa

Stolen from Alyssa

But the great rains were coming

374129_10100939441473641_1896298660_n

East River

604163_10100939442092401_1004580846_n

East River

So I had to evacuate my home and become a refugee in Williamsburg where Sandy didn’t even bother to go because she’s such a betch. All the way to Brooklyn on a week night, no way.

Screen shot 2013-10-22 at 4.55.20 PMBut we were running out of supplies and had resorted to eating disgusting pies. And since the bridges and tunnels closed, and the subways flooded, we were forced to walk home on Halloween day to restock.

Post-Sandy rainbow

Crossing the bridge

Crossing the bridge

Lower Manhattan was not a pretty sight

Lower East Side has Indian food!

Lower East Side has Indian food!

Stuy Town, USA

Stuy Town, USA

But we came out of it eventually

Post-Sandy rainbow

Post-Sandy rainbow

Thanks to our leaders

....Back when Mitt Romney was relevant

Mitt Romney jokes were so in at the time

And we got a nice rent abatement. So happy birthday, Sandy. Thanks for the memories.

Happy non-Halloween for the second year in a row

The gods out there apparently hate Halloween and all that is fun because for the second year in a row nature has killed it. I feel bad for the little kids who won’t be able to trick-or-treat yet again, but I mostly feel bad for me. I was looking forward to wearing my awesome costume one more time this year and experiencing NYC Halloween. But instead I’m dressed as a refugee in Williamsburg (which by the way was left unscathed). That’s okay, at least I get to look forward to the 14-hour days I’ve been working! Maybe next year we’ll get some wild fires and go really crazy in 2013.

Love,

Debbie Downer

Natasha will not see the light of day again this Halloween: