Gaga frolics with Housewives at Hearst Castle

gagaguybirdI know I’m late on this but Lady Gaga’s new video – sorry “ARTPOP film” – is like someone saw into my fever dream. The song is called “G.U.Y,” which stands for “girl under you.” I definitely see this becoming a household acronym.. it’s the next PYT. (Um, April Fool’s).

Anyway, I’m really only bothering to talk about this at all because A. It’s filmed at Hearst Castle, which is my dream home. I’m hoping I can make my way up the corporate ladder and eventually become queen of the castle.

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B. the Housewives of Beverly Hills cameo…LOL. The housewives band is both creepy and hilarious. Lisa would never agree to be the tambourine player in real life. She would obviously refuse to be anything less than manager, and then quit to manage Scheana’s pop-stardom.

lady-gaga-rhobh-guy-videoKim and Kyle look super happy with their guitars. They should start a folk band and Paris can play remixes of their song “Grumpy Old Man” in Ibiza.

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Yolanda can obviously play all classical instruments. I wonder if David My Love was asked to play piano but declined because people would be singing along.

I just wish Brandi was in the band instead of witchy woman Carlton, but Lisa probably told her she can’t sit with them.

And then Andy Cohen is Zeus, which is accurate.

lady-gaga-video-01Other thoughts:

The first thing I thought when the video started, was that Kanye already did this. I hate to say anything in Kanye’s favor, but he made a “music video film” that starts with a wounded bird woman way back in 2010. Find your own niche, Gags.

Kanye's bird vs. Gaga's bird

Kanye’s bird vs. Gaga’s bird

Also, I get the “pop art” thing with the reality TV and lyrics about tweets (“Love me, love me. Please retweet”) – but Legos? Do we really need to keep going with this “Legos are so hot right now” thing that’s going on? Legos being a la mode reminds me of when Andy Cohen called out Rachel Zoe for calling sliced bread “un-chic.” He really is playing God and laughing at all of us sipping from his “Mazel” chalice (available at shopbybravo.com).

screen-shot-2014-03-24-at-10-11-33-amAlso, he looks like the sun from Teletubbies all grown up.

ttlBabySunRisingThe one thing I enjoyed: Gaga’s lyrical genius. “Venus, Aphrodite lady, Seashell bikini, garden panty.”

Sweet garden panty, Gaga

Sweet garden panty, Gaga

 

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Mission: Infiltrate Bravo TV

I’ve met Ramona from NYC, and had her retweet me…

photo[1]I almost met Andy Cohen on Thursday in Union Square. I checked Twitter and saw that he’d be in Union Square at 7:00 and I was like “Omg Andy Bravo, I will ALSO be there at 7:00,” but the line to meet him was way too long and I was getting hungry so I passed. BUT I was in the same building at the same time and heard his voice through the loud speaker…

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See more photos at Greenwichtime.com

Then I sent a photographer to cover an event Yolanda from Beverly Hills was at and SHE tweeted at me too (2 housewives down).

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No there’s no typo….

My point is: I’m taking over Bravo.

‘Most Talkative’

I read Andy Cohen’s Most Talkative for two reasons: because I love Bravo and Andy, and because I basically want to be him, so I thought this book might offer some insight.

Andy loves his book

I would definitley recommend it to any Bravo fans. It’s a super easy read, and it’s very funny. I was hysterical at his letters home from camp: “Dear Mom, I think I am having the worst time ever. Love, Andy.”

However, as far as any industry secrets and tips on how to make it, here’s what it taught me: your dream job will come to you like magic. Um, false. So he never actually says that, and I’m not saying he didn’t work his ass off to get where he is, but it seems like everything he wanted career-wise just happened. He wrote a letter to Susan Lucci’s publisher in college and got an interview with her, then he got a CBS internship in NYC, which turned into a job and so on and so on. He practically had to wear his graduation gown to cover the Tony Awards that’s how fast he got all these jobs. And it’s not only him; his friends had magical luck too. His best friend landed a job representing Tyra Banks in her early years and then went off to work at VH1 – all right after college. Andy, I want a follow-up book that tells us who and what all your secret connections were!

I forgot to mention there are pictures in the book too…

Well anyway, besides the fact that it made me jealous, I really enjoyed reading the book. My favorite parts were the ones that involved Andy’s mom, who is the best mom in the world. I also love that he called his housekeeper Blouse. And the behind-the-scenes chapters about the Housewives are also very interesting. All in all, take this book on vacation or something. It’ll make you laugh.

Oh, p.s. not to be obnoxious, but I found a couple typos. Woops, just saying.

Rhode Island?!

The joke’s on Miss Congeniality because Rhode Island actually won for real! Of course I’m talking about Miss USA not Miss America – totally different.

O M G

I watched the Miss USA pageant for a few minutes before realizing it was excruciatingly boring and flipped over to the MTV movies awards, which were a train wreck. I finally settled on a more palatable train wreck and watched RHONJ (side note: it feels a little unhealthy to be reading Andy Cohen’s book, then watch him host Miss USA, and then watch Real Housewives).

All I can say is congrats to Miss RI for winning despite that evening gown she chose, for making the cello hot, and for showing the judges that East Coast girls can get their hair big too. Also, I found it really pervy that Rob Kardahsian and Joe Jonas were judges.

See photos from the pageant HERE

Oh, the Oscars

So the Oscars were pretty boring last night; Angelina wouldn’t put away her stupid leg, I haven’t seen The Artist and what is even Hugo? Usually they have some good performances but the only song they even talked about was some Muppet Baby song with Jason Segal – who cares? The most entertaining part besides reading Andy Cohen’s tweets was Emma Stone’s little skit when she presented with Ben Stiller. Other than that I settled for just looking at the dresses. Here’s my Red Carpet opinion:

Best: Tie – Jennifer Lopez/Cameron Diaz

These were the only 2 dresses I saw on the red carpet that I really loved, and then they presented together and it was just a big mess of pretty. I might have given the whole thing to JLo had her nipple not been showing (oops). I also really liked Gwyneth Paltrow’s white dress with the cape even though some people are saying it was bizarre.

Worst: Anna Faris

I feel like it’s a stretch for her to even be invited to the Oscars, so she could have at least worn a decent dress. She looks like a dominatrix with that hair and that sequined suit of armor.

If you’re going to go with that look, do it like Rose Byrne.

(Worst dressed honorable mention: Sandra Bullock)

Red Carpet Slideshow

Bravo comes to Greenwich

- Tina Pray attending the preview party for the Greenwich Harbor Yacht Showcase benefit for Audubon Greenwich. Photo: File Photo / CT -

As I’ve said before, the perk of working in Greenwich, CT is that everyone is super rich, which attracts famous people and reality TV. I don’t know if “Wall Street Wives” is going to happen, but apparently another Fairfield County mom beat my bud, Devon, to the reality show finish line – and this one’s on Bravo.

“Natasha Pray, the daughter of Greenwich auto magnate Malcolm Pray, is set to appear in a new television series being filmed for the network, which is known for its drama-filled accounts of the lives of rich women in various cities. ‘Miss Advised’ is one of several new reality shows set to air on Bravo in the spring… the show follows three single female “relationship experts” as they dole out dating advice to clients and then follow, or don’t follow, their own guidelines.” – Greenwich Time

The show is apparently an Ashley Tisdale production, which worries me. But I will obviously give it a shot when it airs seeing as Andy and Bravo very rarely go wrong.

Also, this lady seems like a lunatic:

“While an appearance on a Bravo reality series might help Natasha Pray, known to her friends as Tina, enter the limelight, she made news in late 2009 for a very different reason. In November 2009, Pray was charged with attempted larceny and insurance fraud after she allegedly attempted to trick her stepfather, Richard Ford, into cooperating with a plan devised to collect nearly $60,000 from an insurance company.” – Greenwich Time