My favorite couple
I don’t know why, but I am SO in the holiday spirit today. It’s a beautiful day and the sun was shining in Grand Central early this morning, and everyone was buying pink cupcakes and cookies and flowers – love it. You’d think I was SO in love this year or something, but nope, I’m still SO single and apparently SO not bitter… (I’m all about saying “SO” right now). In honor of my love for love, here’s a list of my favorite couples:
1. Holly Golightly and Paul Varjak
2. Jack and Rose
3. Sabrina and Linus Larrabee
Audrey is just so good. The daughter of the help is in love with the handsome man of the house, but he doesn’t notice her until she comes back from Paris looking super chic. But his older brother steals her from him proving that women are better people than men because we are willing to date a guy even though we are way hotter than he is.
4. Allie and Noah
5. Ariel and Prince Eric
Honorable Mention: Ross and Rachel
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Last week a couple of my ladies and I decided to use Valentine’s Day as an excuse to eat cupcakes, drink wine and watch a movie – in other words, be fat and lazy.
After going through the instant Netflix selection, one lady got super excited that “Overboard” with Goldie Hawn was on there. I had never heard of it, but she was so adamant about watching it that I figured it must be decent. If you’re ever in the mood for a good 80s movie, go with this one.
Here’s the basic plot line: Goldie Hawn, a rich spoiled brat from Manhattan, is married to the grandpa from Gilmore Girls and they are sailing their yacht along the coast of a poor trailer-trash town in Oregon (never figured that one out). Goldie hires a carpenter to build her a new closet and to her dismay, he builds it our of the wrong kind of wood so they get into a heated argument and she throws all of his tools off the boat.
Later that night, Goldie falls overboard herself and is rescued by Portuguese fisherman who thought she was a seal. The problem is she can’t remember who she is. When Mr. Gilmore realizes this, he takes it as his chance to escape his nagging wife and he leaves her at the hospital so he can have sexy 80s parties on his boat.
Meanwhile, the carpenter sees Goldie on the news and decides to teach her a lesson by tricking her into thinking she’s married to him. He takes her home to his shack with his 4 nasty sons and she tries to fit into a world of menial labor and bowling while she has unexplained dreams of caviar and puff-sleeved dresses. As you can imagine she and the carpenter eventually fall in love but she finds out he betrayed her blah blah.
Reasons to love it:
– Goldie Hawn’s array of ass-bearing one-piece bathing suits and super high side buns.
– You might forget what year the movie was made and think you’re watching Kate Hudson.
– Her first guess on what her “son’s” name could be is “Roy.”
– She refers to another “son” who likes to talk like Pee-wee Herman as a “falsetto child.”
– Cheesy 80s humor, of course.
– The aforementioned mystery of why anyone would sail their yacht off the coast of Garbage Town, Oregon.
Anyway, just watch the movie if you’re bored and don’t feel like resorting to yet another movie about two friends with ST trying not to fall in love. Instead, go for two strangers who hate each other trying to fall in love.
* Also, Reese Witherspoon claims this is her favorite movie. I knew I liked that lady.
Everyone is obviously painfully aware of their own romantic status every single day of the year – whether you are single or not. But on Valentine’s Day, the whole world is painfully aware of whether you are single or not based off whether or not you are waiting in line at Walgreen’s with a teddy bear and a box of chocolates or with a single-serving size bag of chips. (Side note: When did Walgreen’s become the place to buy your girlfriend a gift?)
Whatever kind of Valentine’s Day you’re having, here’s a song for you.
If you’re trying to steal someone else’s man (in honor of Whitney, of course):
If you’re obsessed with a total d-bag:
If you’re trying to make someone fall in love with you (OG Bob Dylan):
If you’re totally happy, getting married and this is your favorite holiday (OG Stevie Wonder):
If you’re really sad about a girl:
If you’re just trying to get slutty:
Yes, I’m single and yes, I’m aware that Valentine’s Day is next week. But I refuse to be bitter about it; I had a Valentine date for many years in a row, so it’s my turn now to face a few alone. Luckily, I never put too much importance on the day so it’s not a big deal to me. I never wanted diamonds or grand gestures on Valentine’s Day, just something fun and simple. So, since I will not be receiving a Valentine’s gift this year (except for the annual box of chocolates from my mom), I will offer some ideas for things I would have wanted and maybe help someone out who has no idea what to get.
1. Breakfast at Tiffany’s on DVD. This is one of my favorite movies and I only have it on VHS. I asked for the DVD for many years in a row and never got it! Maybe I’ll get myself a Valentine’s gift this year.
2. This backpack from Target (it’s a lot more hot pink and awesome in person). I already have it because I bought it for myself – I buy myself a lot more presents since not having a boyfriend.
3. Vera Bradley mug. I’ve been wanting one of these for a while, but I won’t bring myself to spend money on it. My favorite mug that I have right now was a Valentine’s Day present – I guess I have a thing for mugs.
4. Flower wall hook. There are a lot of wall hooks at Pier 1 that I would love to have. I like the bird one too, but most girls might think that’s weird so I went with the flower.
5. Silver jewelry bowls/plates. I have a little silver plate that I love because I toss my rings and bobby pins etc. on it. There’s no need really, to buy a $25 one at pottery barn but I like their idea of getting it monogrammed.
I realize that these ideas are a little out of the ordinary – I didn’t list chocolates or flowers or jewelry on here – but if your girlfriend is half as awesome as I am, she’ll probably like one of these things.
*6. If you’re trying to go for something really outside the box, this hot pink bird is pretty sweet.