‘Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?’

A question I have asked myself on more than one occasion…but this is not a post about my insecurities. It’s actually a post about Mindy Kaling‘s insecurities.

A friend gave me Mindy Kaling’s book, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me (and Other Concerns), for my birthday two months ago. I didn’t pick it up until a week and a half ago because I’m not really all that interested in how one becomes Kelly Kapoor on The Office, but I was bored at home one night (probably because my friends were all hanging out without me) and decided to read it. I’m glad I decided to give it a shot because it’s actually a really funny book, which isn’t too surprising seeing as Mindy is a writer for The Office.

Also, it turns out Mindz and I have a lot in common. We are both short, wildly unathletic, and our hobby is dieting. We also both love Amy Poehler as Kaitlin on SNL (RICK!), and we dislike lakes. Oh, and I guess we both like to write.

I laughed out loud a lot while reading this book mostly because we have a similar sense of humor. But that’s also the reason I found myself rolling my eyes a lot. Sometimes her jokes seemed so obvious to me because they were the exact thing I would say. I am unimpressed by things that I can do myself. For example, earlier this week on the radio, they were talking about the first moon landing. People who can make other people land on the moon impress me. I don’t think I can do that (but in fairness to my own intellect, I’ve never tried).

We also have the same style.

While reading the book, I kept thinking to myself “I can totally write a book like this,” or “I would totally say that.” Should I hold it against someone that they are equally as great and funny as I am? Probably not, but I like to read books by people who are way greater and funnier. I’m starting to realize that maybe I’m just a well of untapped talent and should go take Mindy Kaling’s job. (Just kidding. She is great, and also The Office probably won’t last that much longer without Steve Carrell).

Anyway, I’m being unfair. Mindy’s book is cute, funny and easy to read. As she says in her intro, “if you are reading this book every night for months, something is not right.” And her story is actually pretty impressive – not everyone goes from being a normal girl growing up in Boston to getting a lucky break playing Ben Affleck in a two-woman show (my best friend and I should have had more faith in our two-woman puppet musical to the songs of Jennifer Lopez’s album “On the 6”) to becoming a big Hollywood comedy writer and actress.

Similar to Andy Cohen’s book, this is no inspirational rags-to-riches story. She even makes note that her life will never be a Lifetime movie called “From heroin to Harvard,” or some variation of that. But she gives a lot of funny anecdotes, makes random observations (many times in list form, which I like), and there are pictures in the book.

Any book that includes photos of dorky little Indian kids is okay with me.

All around, my biggest complaint is that it reminds me too much of the inner workings of my own brain – which are apparently good enough to become a best seller. All I need now is a reason for people to want to read my thoughts – either a grand success or a terrible failure that I overcome. Hopefully it will be option A – a life of success without failure. I think I just came up with the title of my book.

“Bad Teacher,” Good Time

I had a great Sunday yesterday: frying myself out by the pool all day, followed by margaritas with the ladies and then the movies to see “Bad Teacher.”

The movie was the perfect ending to a relaxing Sunday. It’s funny but definitely not in the same league as some of Jason Segel‘s other movies like “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” or “I Love you Man.” Still, it’s a good mix of vulgar humor and just a tad of cuteness – the loser in school does not end up getting the hot girl, but the gym teacher does land the bad-ass sex-pot teacher. And unlike most Cameron Diaz movies, it’s not a chick flick.

In fact, I really liked Cameron as a blunt, manipulative bitch instead of her usual role of ditzy blond trying to get the guy. Elizabeth, Cameron’s character’s main goal in the movie is to save up enough money to get a boob job so she can bag a rich husband and never have to work as a teacher another day in her life. She sets her sights on the new substitute teacher and heir to a watch fortune played by Justin Timberake. Unfortunately, not only is he absolutely weird, but he falls in love with Elizabeth’s arch nemesis and total nutcase, Ms. Squirrel played by Lucy Punch. In the end, though, Jason Segel, the lowly gym teacher, wins Elizabeth over.

The main cast of Cameron, Justin, Jason and Lucy is definitely a good combo, but there are some hidden-gem performances and cameos. First off I didn’t even realize until almost half way through the movie that Eric Stonestreet who plays the lovably gay Cameron in “Modern Family” plays Elizabeth’s weirdo biker-dude roommate in this movie.

My favorite character in the whole movie is Lynn played by Phyliss Smith who plays Phyllis in “The Office.” Lynn, a teacher at Elizabeth’s school, is sweet and insecure and always plays by the rules, but she idolizes Elizabeth and tries to be like her right down to standing with her hand on her popped hip.

And here’s what “Bad Teacher” can claim: It officially contains the most awkward sex scene I have ever seen in a movie – a graphic dry-humping session.