MY most influential people

TIME announced their 100 Most Influential People list today, and they have some cool people on it like Jay-Z and Mindy Kaling. But I really can’t imagine that Mindy Kaling is one of the most influential people in the world. I mean, The Mindy Project is funny but come on. Also, Jennifer Lawrence has only been super popular for like 2 days. It looks to me like TIME is just trying to be trendy.

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But who cares about who influences the world anyway. I’d like to share the top 10 women who helped shape ME.

10. Angelica from Rugrats:

Angelica taught me how to run the world

Bossing around babies like a boss

Bossing around babies like a boss

The price you pay for being awesome

The price you pay for being awesome

And I think she is subconsciously the reason I love donuts a little too much.

angelicaeatingcookies

9. Winnie from “The Wonder Years”

Winnie was so cool and pretty even though she was skinny-fat, and had awesome bangs.

tumblr_lu29v8WXEM1r4z5hmo1_500She also had Kevin obsessed with her for like 20 years despite this look:

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8. Amanda Bynes

This may be where some of my imperfections stem from…but back in her “All That” and “Amanda Show” days, she seemed like a worthy role model.

Amanda-manda-manda-manda-manda

Amanda-manda-manda-manda-manda

Whatever, She’s the Man was funny

she3

7. Cher Horowitz

I went to Catholic school, so I didn’t know any Jews growing up – all I knew was that according to Clueless, they’re fabulous. Cher’s wise words are still useful to me in everyday life, like, “She’s a full-on Monet…. From far away, it’s OK, but up close, it’s a big old mess.” And “It does not say RSVP on the Statue of Liberty.”

clueless-pic1Most importantly she showed me I can get out of gym class

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6. Melissa Joan Hart

Cher was fab, but Clarissa explained it all. Not only was MJH cool and witty in “Clarissa Explains” it all, which had the best opening credits, but then she became a witch.

I obvi was jealous of Sabrina because she was magical and could have actual conversations with her cat. Also, her aunts were the best parents ever – I kind of had a weird girl crush on Zelda.

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5. Spice Girls

I don’t know that I learned too many life lessons from the Spice girls, besides British is better and that I definitely want to zigazig-ah.

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But they did teach me a lot about fashion.

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4. Jewel

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Jewel was my downtime music. Every 10 year old needs some time to close the door throw on some Jewel and meditate for a while. There’s only so much Hanson music one can take after a long day of being humiliated in relay basketball at gym. Jewel expanded my vocabulary and showed me you can still be famous even if you’ve never had braces.

3. Britney Spears/Christina Aguilera

Frenemies

Frenemies

I lumped them together because they both taught me a similar lesson: If you want to be a pop star (which I do), get a flat stomach.

285911_oI already had the uniform though.

2. Gwen Stefani

NO-DOUBT-1Gwen was and still is the queen of all that is cool. She mastered angry girl music without being kind of scraggly and gross like Alanis.

1. All Disney Princesses

Untitled-1Above all, I strive to be classy and beautiful like a cartoon.

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P.S. I’m still upset

…that I missed the Spice Girls perform at the Olympics closing ceremony, especially since it was reportedly their last performance together ever! Well, it looks like a good performance on this YouTube video, but I’m sure it was better on TV.

Hey Mel B, I’m feeling your sparkly jump suit. Where did you get it?

No Doubt’s back

I am the worst fan ever. Somehow I failed to be aware of the new No Doubt album coming out!

I have a suspicion it won’t be very good because while I love No Doubt, Rock Steady wasn’t exactly genius. But I’m still very excited. No Doubt might be my favorite childhood band – I was obsessed. They trumped Hanson, Jewel and even the Spice Girls in my book when I was little. Also, if I could be any famous person, it would be Gwen Stefani. I don’t usually think people are “cool,” but I just think she’s really cool….

Still cool

And, the No Doubt reunion concert was probably the best concert of all time – might even top the Spice Girls reunion (yes, I live in the past).

Reunion 2009

Anyway, the video for their new song “Settle Down” comes out Monday, which means I’ll be watching it online Tuesday morning because who even watches music videos on TV anymore? While I wait in anticipation, I’ll give you my top 5 No Doubt songs:

5. NewReturn of Saturn

4. Happy Now – Tragic Kingdom

3. Just a Girl – Tragic Kingdom

2. Sunday Morning – Tragic Kingdom

And the #1 spot goes to “Don’t Speak.” Yes, it’s the obvious choice, but it’s not only my favorite no Doubt song, it’s one of my favorite songs ever.

1. Don’t Speak – Tragic Kingdom

*Honorable mention: “Too Late” instrumental version – a hidden track on Return of Saturn

Viva Forever!

A Spice Girls documentary is in the works if Victoria stops being so stuck up and agrees to do it. Come on Posh, You were a Spice Girl. Yes it’s semi-embarrassing, but just own it. The documentary will compliment a Spice Girls musical that’s coming out in December.

Spice Girls reunion tour 2008. Best concert ever.

It’s like someone went into my dreams and made them a reality – my life has come full circle. Now I have an excuse to take a trip to London, and I finally have somewhere to wear my hand-made British flag shirt that I made for the reunion tour. Hand-glued individual sequins are definitely worth a re-wear.

Craftsmanship

Or I could go with my Baby Spice costume. Or I could wear my screen-printed baby tee that I wore when I saw them back in ’98. There are just SO many options.

Feeling Halloweenie (part 2)

As you may recall from “How to <3 College (Part 1),” Halloween is a very important part of college. And the group costume is a very important part of Halloween in college.

Nowadays, the Spice Girls may not seem like such an original theme for a group costume. Ever since their comeback reunion tour (which I attended, of course. But we’ll get to that later), they have come back onto people’s radars. By Halloween of my sophomore year, though, the Spice Girls were still safely tucked away in 90s pop-culture obscurity.

Being blond, I was assigned the role of Baby Spice, which is not a very impressive costume save for these shoes:

The others were also easy to assign and execute. But then there’s Geri, Ginger Spice – the odd one. How many groups of friends actually include a ginger? Probably not many. After assigning all the parts, Lady K was left with no identity and forced to take on the dreaded Ginger Spice costume. Anyone else might have complained, but Lady K owned the part and even volunteered to wear a nasty red wig. That’s taking one for the team. So, because of this, and because the costume ended up being a masterpiece, I am going to feature it instead of mine.

On a lovely fall afternoon, instead of watching TV, doing laundry or day drinking, Lady K and I embarked on the most intense arts and crafts session I had ever been involved in (until the aforementioned Spice Girls reunion concert). We spent hours on end holed up in a dorm room pouring our blood, sweat and tears into an ugly blue dress purchased at Rave.

I give you Ginger Spice:

What you need –

  • Blue dress (may need to be cut and hemmed in order to be slutty enough)
  • Red Wig
  • Red stripper shoes
  • Red and white electrical tape
  • An iron

If you haven’t figured it out from the picture, you are going to be creating the Union Jack out of electrical tape. Study a picture of the British flag and recreate it on the dress. As you put down each piece of tape, cover it with a piece of fabric and iron it down – basically melting it into the dress, but don’t forget to put something inside the dress so it doesn’t stick to itself. Rinse and repeat until complete – probs. about 5 or 6 hours.

After successfully completing this feat, Lady K and I fancied ourselves experts in the field of creating Union Jack clothing, so we volunteered to create sequined t-shirts for the Spice Girls reunion concert. I’m not going to say it was the worst, but I will say that was the first and last time I will ever glue individual blue sequins onto 4 separate shirts. Here’s the end result:

So if you are in need of an awesome group Halloween costume, try out the Spice Girls. Just know that I will personally judge you if you half-ass it. Have fun with that electrical tape!