A blessing and a curse

In honor of St. Patrick’s Day, I pay homage to my paler side with pros and cons of being Irish.

curse

Pros:

1. We’re light on our feet

tumblr_m1ryzrOWbl1rskznso1_400Screen shot 2014-03-17 at 9.47.22 AMI’ve been told I have a hop in my step – it’s because there’s an Irish jig playing on loop in my head, obvi.

Untitled-1 copy2. St. Patrick’s Day (self-explanatory)

3. Drunk uncle is not just an SNL character

YKxq9Aa4. We always had a friend growing up because our grandparents didn’t believe in condoms. Thanks to your poor grandma being pregnant for 20 years straight, you have 19 cousins!

I'm actually a Kennedy

I’m actually a Kennedy

5. We’re made out of marshmallows and magic

2013-03-13-LuckyCharmsChex-Step6

Cons:

1. Pasty pink skin, yum

iStock_000015853922Small

2. Irish food is terrible…I don’t mean the disgusting things I found Googling Lucky Charms:

IMG_22718292745896_578343c843

I mean this:

Mmm grandma's cooking

Mmm grandma’s cooking

3. Your last name is so boring and common that on St. Patrick’s Day, the idiot bar tenders can’t even keep track of all the same-name tabs and they give your card away to someone else who probably lives in Hoboken (I know you live there, Michael Ryan, and I know you have my credit card).

4. You had nightmares thanks to those little laminated prayer cards with frightening biblical images on them. I’m pretty sure I used the Angel of Death as a bookmark for most of middle school.

Mom, can I put lamb's blood over my bedroom door?

Mom, I know we’re not Jewish but I’m the first-born sooo can I put lamb’s blood over my bedroom door?

5. Our mouths are too small for our teeth

Palate expander!

Palate expander!

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!!

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