Melissa Joan Hart’s burn book

When I first heard Melissa Joan Hart wrote a tell-all-book called “Melissa Explains it All,” I thought YES. Reading that. After all, MJH was one of my childhood idols – she was so trendy on “Clarissa Explains it All,” and so magical on “Sabrina the Teenage Witch.” But the more I hear bout this book, the more I’m like come on Meliss, just because you weren’t the most popular of the early-millennium stars doesn’t mean you have to go reverse Mean Girls and write a burn book about the cool kids.

On Trend.

On Trend.

She calls Jerry O’Connell a “man whore,” and talks about that one time Ashton Kutcher hit on her but she totally blew him off.

jerrypolWell, Ashton Kutcher was/is wildly more successful than you and now dates Mila Kunis who was/is also wildly more successful than you sooo…there’s that.

BURNShe also calls out Paris Hilton for offering her cocaine once, and Paris Hilton’s like “that was ONE time!”

parpo

There’s more:

She calls James Van Der Beek ugly. “Her first onscreen kiss was with James Van Der Beek—even though she had begged the producers to cast anyone but him, since she didn’t think he was attractive.”

jamespoAnd talks about how much Ryan Reynolds wanted her even though she had a boyfriend, and says he smelled too much like hair product. – TIME

Oh, and she was also the first person to sneak Britney Spears into a night club. Congratulations, you were at the forefront of her eventual demise – and you never told anyone because you are such a good friend!

In conclusion, I’m disappointed to report that MJH is a mean girl. She’s a bitch.

lizzy-in-mean-girls-lizzy-caplan-7197221-640-480

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