Staten Island Adventure

Daytripping in Staten Island, duh

Last September, upon moving to the great city of New York, Erin and I decided to explore one of the city’s classiest gems – Coney Island. A couple weeks ago, we thought we were overdue for an adventure so we took a little trip to Staten Island – also classy.

There she is. The majestic Staten Island Ferry

Semi-unrealted, at work we have started using an app called Videolicious. It’s an app that let’s you make videos on your phone and “share your story.” I wanted to test it out but needed a story, so I went with our Staten Island adventure. Before I show you my 53-second masterpiece, I’ll share the background story. I could have done this as a voice over in my video, but that’s really awkward.

It was a beautiful Sunday and we could have laid out and tanned, but a free ferry ride to Staten Island seemed like way more fun. I was imaging myself as the trashy Olsen in It Takes Two.

Little Betty Buttkiss

First we made a pit stop at Battery Park so Erin could get somewhat close to the Statue of Liberty. We tried to do that thing people do when they squish landmarks. We weren’t that good at it. Then we watched a Jewish lesbian wedding. Then we headed toward the ferry station.

When the flood gates opened, we were corralled onto the boat with the masses – and by masses I mean hundreds of small children. There was no deck, so we all stuck out heads out the windows like dogs in a car. It was kind of enjoyable until my eye started watering uncontrollably – but the view was nice.

Anxiously awaiting the luxury ocean liner.

Twenty-five minutes later we were in beautiful downtown St. George. We made a pit stop at the “visitors’ center” and grabbed a map that showed us the town’s attractions and places to eat (good joke, Staten Island). But first, we hung out with all our fellow boat friends and took photos in front of the Manhattan skyline. This is the best we could get from the bitchy foreign girl who took our photo:

After this, I don’t know where everyone disappeared to. We walked over to the baseball field that seemed to be important to everyone, but it was deserted. So we went to do a loop around town and find somewhere to eat.

We soon discovered that Staten Island comes equipped with San Francisco-style inclines and stagnant air. But most importantly, they take Sundays very seriously. Everything was closed. Not a soul in sight. A couple buying pizza. That’s it.

We walked around keeping an eye out for tumble weeds and all we saw were closed businesses and ghetto delis. Should I be having fomo right now? Is everyone somewhere I don’t know about? Probably civilization where I came from. Then we came across the court house, which had glitter strewn all over the front steps and realized the whole town must be hung over from the rave they had the night before.

Great trip

At this point we were sweating and sufficiently creeped out so we checked the time. Three minutes til the next ferry. We sprinted. Made it. Survived. Stuck our heads out the window and never looked back.

Enjoy some memories of the barren streets of St. George to my favorite tune, “beebop”: