Remember Ruthie from Seventh Heaven? Well apparently following in Topanga and Alyssa Milano’s footsteps, she posed for Maxim. But while Topanga and Alyssa have been rediscovered and given cover shoots because of their new shows, poor Ruthie is just doing it because….IMDB says she hasn’t been in anything since 2011?
In any case, despite this photo shoot, Jessica Biel is clearly the life winner of the Seventh Heaven crew, which brings up the question: which stars of childhood are winning in life and who peaked?
Let’s start with the Maxim ladies.
Winner: Jessica Biel
I don’t really get why, but people still care about Jessica Biel and she is married to Justin Timberlake so she wins by a landslide.
Also Lucy still wears her on-set wardrobe.
Loser: Reverend Camden
This was a tough one because the entire rest of the cast is tied for loser. But I’m giving it to Reverend Camden because he was apparently in 2 episodes of Devious Maids, and that doesn’t seem like a very Christian show, Rev.
Boy Meets World
Because he has gotten none of the sequel glory.
Winner: Alyssa Milano
She’s on an Education Connection commercial….
Winner: Melissa McCarthy
Loser: Milo Ventimiglia
A lot of the cast is doing alright. But remember Jess? I had a crush on him and wanted Rory to choose him over Dean, but she didn’t. And guess what happened to him? His good looks went to waste and at age 36 he has a credit as “frat boy Milo” in Grown Ups 2.
Winner: Tie, Rachel Bilson and Adam Brody
Because she’s still in things and he was just on Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen – and his last name was Cohen on the OC. It’s all destiny.
Loser: Mischa Barton
Because she turned into a hot mess and the Daily Mail called her a dog walker.
That 70’s Show
Winner: Mila Kunis
Because everyone thought Ashton Kutcher was the winner, but then Mila went lesbo in Black Swan and got famous – causing Ashton to dump Demi and become half of Kelso and Jackie once more.
(Update: So she died. I’m sorry I called you a loser, Laurie. RIP)
Winner: Amanda Bynes
Sure, Keenan went on to be a star on SNL, which is just All That for adults, and Amanda is having a long-term public melt down…but who is more famous?
Winner: John Stamos
Yes, I know about the Olsen twins, and Bob Saget is like a household name, and yes Alanis Morissette wrote a song about Uncle Joey. But the Olsen twins do black magic, and Bob Saget is nasty and Uncle Joey was clearly an ass. Uncle Jesse, however, is looking fine in yogurt commercials.
Loser: Andrea Barber
To avoid being in bad taste, I did not award this to Jodie Sweetin. Instead this one goes to Andrea Barber because she played Kimmy Gibler…and nothing else.
Winner: Will Smith’s children
You are so lucky The Fresh Prince is your dad.
Loser: Tatyana Ali
You could have made it bigger. “Day Dreaming” was so good.