Food Network’s Finest

– Every man’s dream come true? ( –

Maxim has named Paula Deen the hottest female TV chef. Props to the Deenster for beating Giada’s huge boobs (and head) and Sandra Lee’s drunken Freudian slips. Either the editors at Maxim have a butter fetish or they’ve been looking at Paula Deen Riding Things way too much.

Update – I spoke too soon, they do have a butter fetish. Here’s Maxim’s explanation for choosing the Southern Mrs. Clause:

Anthony Bourdain may think she’s the most dangerous person in America thanks to her calorie-packed cooking, but we find danger sexy. Just imagining the slippery, sloppy butter-sex we’d have with Paula makes us…hungry for a bacon-wrapped, beer batter-fried stick of butter, weirdly.” – Maxim 5 Hottest Female TV Chefs

– Mr. and Mrs. Clause y’all –

First of all that’s nasty. Second of all I would like to present proof that there is way more of a perverted interest in Giada than there is in Paula Deen.

First YouTube result for the term “Giada de Laurentiis” :

7th YouTube result for the term “Paula Deen” after 6 boring recipe excerpts with tag lines like “Probably the grossest thing I’ve ever seen on Food Network” and “I hate her” :

Now, I’m not trying to diss Paula Deen. I’m just saying give the people what they want, Maxim. While Paula Deen is weirdly sexual when she eats her fried macaroni and cheese balls with gravy, the public has spoken and they want Giada. Her “perma-smile” as you so aptly put it and annoying Italian pronunciation paired with cleavage for a mile and a lollipop figure (huge head small body) make her the people’s choice for sure. Also, I hear her meals are very “crisp, clean and nutty” and that ricotta salata always gives her pasta a nice bite!

Besides if they’re trying to go the ironic route here, I think the clear winner is Ina Garten, the Barefoot Contessa. Her and Jefferey definitely have more ST than Paula and her Santa husband. “If the tent’s a rockin’ don’t come a knockin'”

Click HERE to read more about the Food Network Chefs including Ina Garten who is “Always throwing parties so she can buy more friends in the Hamptons. Has a huge collection of oversized denim shirts. Husband Jeffrey never grows tired of playing second fiddle to her zucchini garden.


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