Love, Seth Cohen.
Oh, hey there! I didn’t die – SURPRISE!
I realize that may have been insensitive given the topic of this post – but I just meant “long time no see.”
Anyway, today is the 50th anniversary of John F. Kennedy’s assassination. If this is news to you, you are obviously living under a stupid rock because there have been more TV specials about it than I know what to do with. J(f)K, I know what to do with them -TIVO!
I’ve been staying up late like a weirdo watching documentaries about conspiracy theories and traveling back in time with Rob Lowe and Ginnifer Goodwin. Although, Michelle Trachtenberg definitely steals the show in “Killing Kennedy.” Is she actually fluent in Russian, and did she gain weight for the role or just because she peaked at Harriot the Spy? So many questions.
But to lighten the mood, I’d like to commemorate Jack Kennedy with his greatest reincarnation: Clone High (Again, insensitive? Whatever).
Stuff I stole from work:
I’ve been so in the Halloween spirit all month prepping for today!
Made Halloween decorations from scratch:
Stole Halloween decorations from bars:
Bought some candy for the trick-or-treaters that probably won’t come. Do NYC kids trick-or-treat?
And ate a fun-size Snickers bar for breakfast today. I am ready.
Halloween is tomorrow, and I’ve already watched Hocus Pocus so I’m in full spirit. But if you STILL don’t have a costume because you’re boring, you can do what I did and reuse an old idea – but with a new vision.
I love my pumpkin costume, but I’ve already worn it twice, so this year I decided to change it up a little by attaching strobe lights to my body.
The essential for this costume is obvi my pumpkin-top head band – best thing I’ve ever made.
And voila! Epilepsy pumpkin was born:
Halloween came a little early for my ladies and me last weekend. So if you still haven’t found a costume, here’s some inspiration from Ally.
All you need is a Forever 21, a TJ Maxx, a street vendor, a vision and all of this can be yours:
The final product:
There’s this girl I hate. She ruined my life (and Halloween) exactly one year ago today. This is her story.
First we got the news that she was coming
But the great rains were coming
So I had to evacuate my home and become a refugee in Williamsburg where Sandy didn’t even bother to go because she’s such a betch. All the way to Brooklyn on a week night, no way.
But we were running out of supplies and had resorted to eating disgusting pies. And since the bridges and tunnels closed, and the subways flooded, we were forced to walk home on Halloween day to restock.
But we came out of it eventually
Thanks to our leaders
And we got a nice rent abatement. So happy birthday, Sandy. Thanks for the memories.
I regrettably do not belong to the Society for Human Resource Management, but lucky I have a man on the inside. That man is HR professional extraordinaire, Ally.
Thanks to her membership to this exclusive underground society, I’ve been granted access to this important piece of literature: “Can the ‘Naughty Nurse’ and Modern Workplace Coexist?”
In preparation for Halloween falling on a week day, I’d like to break down some of the main points:
HR managers and employer attorneys offer the following advice to companies that want to create policies for Halloween costumes and parties:
1. “Provide examples of inappropriate costumes for the workplace, such as costumes that exaggerate body parts, those that reveal too much of the body, men and women dressed as the opposite sex, terrorist get-ups, or ethnic, religious or race-based costumes.”
Here are some examples of BAD costumes according to SHRM:
2. “Caution employees of hospitals or other health care organizations that images of ghosts, graves, skeletons and blood don’t go over well in health care settings.”
The “naughty nurse” could be confusing in a hospital setting.
3. “Request that workers avoid donning political costumes that could be offensive.”
4. Be careful with topical costumes, and don’t chase people. “Wearing a ‘pink slip’ over clothing and chase co-workers around might not be funny given the current unemployment rate.”
“If Halloween offends some workers, offer to let them work at home or take the day off.”
Here’s some extra reading if you want to be SUPER informed: